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Letters to a Non​-​Lover

by Abysmal Plains

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1.
Ridgewood Dr 05:35
Your name makes a lot of sense You saw me there in the woods You thought I looked innocent And full of life, well, I was I came to you with open arms And too trusting of a heart And you put the barrel to my head And in one shot, blew my skull apart And I cried on your bathroom floor after you left for work I knew you'd never want me as much as I hoped you would It was foolish of me to believe you could be better than you were You got my hopes up too high; thought you were different Silly girl The stars were curiously aligned As those deer stood in the road And a thought crossed my drunken mind As your car came to a halt I saw my stiffened head and neck on a board And underneath written in black ink, it says "A girl with no heart" And you'll show me off to all your New, young and pretty ones And through blood-stained teeth, you'll say "I'm not sure how she got that way, but it wasn't my fault." And I cried on your bathroom floor after you left for work I knew you'd never want me as much as I hoped you would It was foolish of me to believe you could be better than you were You got my hopes up too high; thought it was different this time Silly girl
2.
Why don't you fuck me one more time? Isn't that what you wanted? Just say you love something My lips, my legs Maybe if I put out enough I'll hear my own name Muttered out of your mouth after those words 'I love -' Oh god, one day I'll keep coming back, baby (oh baby, I'll keep coming back) I'll pretend like I don't know any better I heard you like them dumb Well, tonight I am the dumbest bitch of all So, no wonder, you liked me Just tell me you care And I'll bleed on your bedsheets You kill me, can't you see?
3.
You let your hair grow too long and so did I The inches past your ear, my only measure of time Kiss me as we sit in the wreck we've made Neither of us have eaten today Virginia's for lovers or whatever you wanna call us Drive me through Tennessee I'm convincingly happy Load me into the back of your hot-wired car Watch my dark curls float in the wind Maybe once we cross state lines You'll wanna hold my hand Virginia's for lovers or whatever you wanna call us Drive me through Tennessee I'm convincingly happy I can take the pain of your nails in my skin Just make the heartbreak quick and in those moments when your phone disconnects and all I'm left with is the sound of your beaten breath I'll search for the words to say Virginia's for lovers so, I'll let you know now I loved you Can't you just lie and say it back Don't worry baby, I know the truth credits released February 14, 2019 music and lyrics by Hannah Cullen huge thank you to Sam for recording and mixing and doing all the technical stuff along with the drums!
4.
Red Strings 03:40
I look nothing like I did when we first met You look exactly the same Ignore all the warning signs That you were three degrees too different And I never listen I've got a red woven string Tied around my fingers too They're connected to a liar One just like you I'm sorry I didn't tell the truth I let you use me over and over again I should have always left I'll try to forgive you, no promises Still wish we never met
5.
I'm running down the street From these ghosts that still haunt me I wish I could erase all memory of you So I'll hit my head Against every wall in my room Until I forget What must it feel like to be wanted for more than What I'm shown is all that I'm good for and What must it feel like to be touched by hands that Aren't calloused with selfishness When will this feeling of worthlessness end? My body aches and I can't cry again I'm exhausted by all these late nights when I can't get you off my mind If love is so patient, if love is so kind then In these men love is never what I find What must it feel like to be wanted for more than What I'm shown is all that I'm good for and What must it feel like to be touched by hands that Aren't calloused with selfishness One day I'll find my love within myself And when that day comes, I won't be the girl I am now And you won't recognize me for who I am And I can't wait to feel worth it again, but What must it feel like to be wanted for more than What I'm shown is all that I'm good for and What must it feel like to be touched by hands that Aren't calloused with selfishness
6.
Wide Lens 03:31
I lay on my back And hold my breath I let the sea roll me And I feel loved again The wind's lullaby pulls me in The world is much bigger than my sadness And love reaches farther than your hands The snow falls lightly On my wine-stained cheeks And kisses my eyelashes And I feel loved again That familiar feeling of hope on my skin The world is much bigger than my sadness And love reaches farther than your hands

about

The EP begins with lyrics and instrumentals that will make even men hate men and resolves into the search for self-worth and acceptance through a broken relationship.

I wrote all these songs after I picked up the guitar in September 2018 and I've had so much fun and made so many friends throughout this journey. These songs are pure beginners luck, and they mean the world to me. Big time thank you to John for helping me record these songs; from learning to record full band, re-recording the entire album, and dealing with my perfectionism. I could have never done this without you and your musical talents. Thank you to Dylan for being such a good sport and learning and performing the drums on these songs in a relatively short time span; you are insanely talented and I love you. Thank you to Conner for helping out a small artist by mastering my music beautifully, I seriously appreciate you. and thank you to Sarah Devoti, a life-long friend, and gifted photographer that made this EP cover come to life.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, to my friends and family that supported me through this and to everyone who listens. <3

credits

released April 21, 2020

Lyrics and music written by Hannah Cullen
Vocals, Bass, and Guitar performed by Hannah Cullen
Drums performed by Dylan Taylor
Recorded and mixed by John Stych
Mastered by Conner Williams

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Abysmal Plains Boone, North Carolina

a solo female artist with a dream, down time, and a guitar from Boone, NC

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